WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
