Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
