yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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