see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
