My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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