i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize