Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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