i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
