We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
