I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
