i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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