I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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