The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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