And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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