He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
