We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
