I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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