I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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