It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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