Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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