You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind