I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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