just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?