she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.