Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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