you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
