Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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