the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
