I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
