Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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