i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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