dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
