so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize