If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We are all done wearing pants today
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize