But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
