I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
