i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
