booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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