Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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