i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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