Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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