I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
