ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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