shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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