so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize