yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
