Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
