awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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