Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer