Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
