I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
