i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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