I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
