apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize