Its about making memories worth repressing
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
