you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize