I want to have your abortion
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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