your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
