It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.