It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
