Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize