White coat. Heels.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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