Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
