fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize